Sorceress – Jack Hill – 1982

Jack Hill’s Sorceress is one of the greatest movies featuring twins confused about their gender ever made.  The central conceit of this brilliant tale is that two girls, kidnapped from their sorcerer father as babies are raised as boys, despite the fact that they are really, really sexy blonde chicks with big knockers.

Their father Traigon, returns from the dead in search of his virgin daughters because their blood will give him all the powers of the masters of the universe or something like that.

The girls, (boys?), surrogate parents are killed Owen and Beru style, and before long they notice a Dwarf and a really creepy faun spying on them and their murdered parents. The weird airport cult wizard that rescued them as infants appears just in time to not save the day and walk into a bonfire. Thus begins the quest of Mira and Mara, to, I don’t know, keep Traigon and his evil endeavors at bay.

This film really underscores the classic battle between the giant snake faced lady in the sky and the cool Lion-Dragon in the sky. The cheapest special effects are used to no avail in order to emphasize the lack of relevance that anything in this story has. Some boobs pop up. The faun bleats. The dwarf has a belly laugh as one twin loses her virginity to a curly headed doofus and the other, (who feels what her sister feels), lay on the ground and writhes around in orgasmic ecstasy.

This incredibly academic twin-study would not be possible without Roger Corman’s two hundred dollars, and a grant from the national twin studies institute. The universal truths about lady-boy twins, the sacrifice of the first born and the classic struggle of a plastic dragon-lion and silly sky head have never been more scientific or resonant. An instant classic.

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2 Responses to “Sorceress – Jack Hill – 1982”

  1. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT. 1982? Hmm. I wonder when it was that Marv Wolfman introduced the character of Raven in Teen Titans whose demonic father TRIGON as I recall his name was constantly tempting his daughter to come to the dark side and help him out so that he could have illimitable dominion over the puny mortals of his dimension as well as ours. Trigon, who floats in the sky menacingly a lot.

    Someone’s ripped someone off though darned if I’m sure who right now.

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